Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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like if your cool

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Your big dick.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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