roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Read a Book.

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Ginger? Their pigmentation.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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What's just not right? Left

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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