How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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Guess what? I like trains.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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