Cripples are lame.

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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