how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

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A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

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If your riding your bicycle down the railroad tracks and your wings fall off how much icecrea does it take to fill a upside down doghouse

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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