What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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