How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

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Why is adam jackson so black when his parents are white? their was alot of black dick up their during the pregnency. (once you go black, you NEVER go back!)

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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