what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

hi

What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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