Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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Teachers be like "Hold on class, I am almost done with my lesson!" Students: " Aint nobody got time 4 dat!"

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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