Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Why did the Jewish business man cross the road? A: to go to his reasonable paying job at a business.

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Cole and his brother josh tag team jaycie until she cries herself to sleep while Sarah watches

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

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Your momma is so fat, she doesn't have a birthday. She has a birthweek.

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A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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