a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops