What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I don't get it

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +20

make me a sandwich! what kind?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops