Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops