What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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T u r n i p s

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A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

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What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

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why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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what happened to your carpool? they died.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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What do you get on anti-jokes.com? A bunch of repeated "jokes", that don't make any sense.

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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What did the girl without arms get for her birthday? A pair of gloves.

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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