A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

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What do you call a hindu that has radiation poisoned A radiatative hindu

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops