What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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THERE'S THE IDENTITY THIEF GET HIM!

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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Why does everyone tell black jokes? Because everyone hates black people.

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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