Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Why did the city disappear? Someone nuked it

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Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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It was a beautiful day. Face.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? they can SHOOT, STEAL and RUN.

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What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

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Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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I literally died laughing

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops