A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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wat does say to another bird....... chirp chirp

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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A white player in the NBA. Wait...

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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Q) A black man and a white man are playing a basketball game, who will win? A) The one who scores the most points.

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Did you hear about my new Muslim friend? Hes the bomb!

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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