Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Knock knock Come in

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally

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Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? About a thousand

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Why are black people not allowed to play football? They are.

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A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

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America. A land where if a girl sexual harrasses a guy would be a good thing.

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Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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Ted: Joe, do you think I'm dumb? Joe: No, I think you're Ted.

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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