What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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The awkward moment when something of quite awkwardness occurs.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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cats are pussies

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What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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A boy owned a dog that was uncommonly shaggy. Many people remarked upon its considerable shagginess. When the boy learned that there are contests for shaggy dogs, he entered his dog. The dog won first prize for shagginess in both the local and the regional competitions. The boy entered the dog in ever-larger contests, until finally he entered it in the world championship for shaggy dogs. But the day before the championship the dog died.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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Whats cold and can't climb trees? Refrigerator

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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a sabertooth walks into a club. the caveman set his trap perfectly.

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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