What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

The lion swallowed his pride.

What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

why did the black guy die? cancer

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virginan Hawk

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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