A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

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why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

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In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

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White NBA players.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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