Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

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What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

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If you'd turn to page 43 you will find the homework. Have a good weekend!

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

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Why did Colnel Sanders cross the road? Colnel Ryan Sanders crossed the road to attack Taliban fighters who were endangering his military presence.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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Q

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What comes after 69? mouthwash

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Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his icecream? A: His arm was chopped off by a ninja

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What do you call a cow that's holy? Holy Cow

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oh hey.

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What did the coal miner get for Christmas? Black Lung Disease

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Five people all from different backgrounds get in a car and nobody get's raped.

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In mother Russia you don't eat cookie. Dog eat shark. -B.Gill

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Why was the fat lady on the Medicine ball? Because she was fat!

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your face is kinda funny

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What do you get when you put a goat and an owl together? A goat and an owl

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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