What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Why is this joke an anti joke? Because it's not trying to be funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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Why did the little boy fall down the steps? Because he wasn't a very stable person.

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

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Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

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Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

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A: "Knock knock." B: "Who's there?" A: "John Doe." B: "John Doe who?" A: "..."

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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