how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

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Vagina Boob

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Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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Knock knock Who's there? Amy winehouse Amy winehouse who? Amy winehouse died by falling down a flight of stairs.

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

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what do you call a masculine female? a post op transexual

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

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What did the screwdriver do when it was insulted? It got up and walked away.

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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