Carrot fingers

How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

a black guy hates chicken.

What do you call it when you mix a raccoon with an 18-wheeler? A bloody mess on the highway. That smells like cheese

What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supe- oh wait it is a plane

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. I just bought a new xbox.

The Big Band Theory

It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

No soap radio

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

Whats pink and slippery? A pink slipper.

What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

A women frantically calls the doctor and says, " Doctor, doctor, give me the news! I have a bad case of loving you."

Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

doctor: hey u ready to get home person: yea doctor: that sucks cause u have cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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