Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you...

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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How long would it take for a clock to reach 12 It depends on which 12 it is going to land on and which time zone you are in but yet most clocks are not correct so it is very hard to tell

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Whats he difference between a rock and a dead baby? I'm not spemding the rest of my natural life in an insane asylum for eating a rock!

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he wants to drink. He orders a beer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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A women frantically calls the doctor and says, " Doctor, doctor, give me the news! I have a bad case of loving you."

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

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Whats pink and slippery? A pink slipper.

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I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

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Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops