Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

thumb_up thumb_down +30

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did Jenny fail her driving test? She was hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops