why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black woman who had 4 abortions? A Crimestopper

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If life throws you fried chicken your probably black

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's better than eating an orange? Anal sex with Kim Kardashian.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do five Jews get to America? They get their passports and ride a public plane, safely leaving the airport and getting on a taxi to go to their hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call a prostitute with AIDS? Most likely her first name, unless of course you know her and it is normal for you to refer to her by a nickname or some shorter version of her proper first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

i like my coffee like i like my women... Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Well Nero, my actual name is Axel Knight, I might have used your "moralman" identity as my own social experiment of sorts, I mean no offense, and if you will leave some contact information, I am sure we can arrive to some kind of settlement... ...Keep your identity crisis thing, I have absolutely no reason to continue communicating here, besides, its six million followers, actually more like seven...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? get down.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops