A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

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Why wasn't the TV remote working? It was out of batteries.

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

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I like the color potato.

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whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

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CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Knock knock Whos there? The Gestapo

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Why did Billy fall off the slide? Someone threw a refridgerator at his face.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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An African-American man calls KFC. An employee answers. "Thank you for calling KFC." The man replies, "I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number."

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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A black man walks into a bar. He sits down and has a couple drinks. When he is finished, he generously tips the bartender and walks out.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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what rhymes with ham and bread? girl, make me a sandwich

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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