What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

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Why did Martin go to school with no pants on? Because he had no legs.

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

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MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water jack collapsed because of serious drug abuse and stress jill followed after not being able to handle the tragedy of her brothers death this wouldn't have happened if they got into my van when i asked them too.

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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sure!

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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What did the priest say to the kid? You can tell your dog but nobody else, ok?

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Hehe and Haha are best friends. One day, Haha died. What did Hehe do? He said "Haha! you died!"

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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