what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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TRICERATOPS!

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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What's worse than AIDS? Buying the anti-joke book

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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Pigachu is a Porkemon.

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

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The funniest tragedy in his young life...wasn't funny.

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

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You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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A man walks out of his house and sees a......BIRD!!!

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why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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