What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

thumb_up thumb_down +17

It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo momma so stupid that she went to get a college degree from a community college and along with her education now has a greater opportunity to earn money with that knowledge.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

25

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man walks into a bar. It turns out he is a notorious serial killer and he procedes to violently murder everyone in the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

flip flop chop, clip clop cow, POW. hahahahahah. :).

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How did the guy in a wheelchair get up 7 flights of stairs? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops