How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is Brown And Sticky ? ......... a Stick

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Dubstep < Music

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I just threw up..In my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's funnier than 10 dead babies? 11 dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was billy sad because in the morning he witnessed his mom get stabbed in the throat repeatedly by a clown then he saw the clown in the cop car but his mask was off and it turned out to be billys dad

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Children + my basement + my finger = yes

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To go to work. And be sexually harassed. For 70 cents on the dollar.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops