Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Obama-Care

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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I'm gay. No homo.

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

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Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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