What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

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why was the little girl crying? she just watched her whole family get murdered.

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what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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A White, a Mexican, and a Chinese guy all take a boat to go exploring.

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tim tebow is a grat quarterback

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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A guy walks into a bar. He has a couple beers, gets in his car and goes home. He got arrested on the way because it is illegal to drink and drive.

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Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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