yo mamma so fat she got pied to be the Olympic swimming pool

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

what does the black guy order for a drink at the bar. kool aid

What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

69

Why did the football coach go to the bank Answer - to get his quarter back

Why don't women need watches? Because they probably have a cell phone, which works just as well.

A black person walks out of KFC

Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

I would rape her

a man said hi.

Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

there was a blind kid and a man wearing a WWJD & Livstrong bracelet touched his eyes and he could see. He wasn't used to the light and walked into traffic and died instantly.

Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

A mans opinion.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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