Knock, knock -Who's there? Help -Help who? Im dying of lukemia

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4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

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Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

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Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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A black man walks into an abbatoir.

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A guy trips a blind man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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