why didn't the blond laugh at the anti-joke? because, she was aborted in her mom's third trimester

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Roses are yellow Violets are yellow bark bark

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A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. (Don't ask me how that's possible, just go with it) As the bartender is pouring it, he asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds "My son died of cancer this morning..."

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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