Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

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If a quiz is a quizical then what is a test? an Exam.

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A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

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Why didn't the black man pay child support? He had no children.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

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Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

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How do you make someone cry Take all of their belongings

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Knock knock "Who's there?" Blood on the Dance Floor "Ha!"

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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what did the man say when he walked into the bar? ouch!

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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why did matt daly shit his pants? he had downs

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face

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Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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What's black and hangs from tree's? A suicidal black man.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Nero the guy that killed four Neo Nazi`s desecrating the funeral of one of my late members in Chile with a revolver hidden in one of the 46 hidden pockets on the inside of his trench jacket with lots of folders here, inside whose only side effect is making me look like I spend a lot more time at the gym, later one of them found me, ran towards the police which laughed at him pointed at me and said: That guy with a prosthetic arm? You dont believe me... Excellent! Nero The Avenger

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Two tigers, walking down Oxford St. One turns to the other & says, "Quiet for a Saturday, don't you think?"

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What did Sally get for Christmas? AIDS

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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