what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

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Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

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Priority parking for hybrid cars

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A man walks into a bar. He recieves a concussion and dies of internal bleeding 3 hours later.

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What did I do last night?work

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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What is the difference between a duck? One of it's legs are both the same!

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how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

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Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

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Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

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What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

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In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&start=148&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=L4yN-90F2S2nXM:&imgrefurl=http://www.britishbeautyblogger.com/2012/05/justin-bieber-nails.html&docid=yYdBShdYVODKdM&imgurl=http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YFyj_mKUypY/T6VP6iGQeCI/AAAAAAAAJjI/y6cpVYjn9Gs/s1600/harry.PNG&w=573&h=413&ei=ZY7HT_XqHo2c8QStiY2IDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=724&vpy=140&dur=435&hovh=191&hovw=265&tx=75&ty=135&sig=110416686013590693091&page=12&tbnh=148&tbnw=229&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:148,i:142

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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whats the differences between an atari and a xbox 360 i don't know i'm not a video game nerd

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what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops