knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

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You're welcome!

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What starts with N, ends with R, and is a black guy? NeighboR!

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A baby gets hit by a bus.

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What happened to the man who lost his left arm, left leg and eye in an accident? I expect he claimed insurance, assuming he was prudent enough to insure himself, or his workplace complied with legislation.

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my name is Jacob sartorious

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What's red and curly and goes 100km an hour? Palfi in a blender

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What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

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What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

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F: what is BLUE and has 400 whells ? Q: NOTHING !!!

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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Why are you angry dude? I can't see my forehead

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JUSTIN BIEBER PERFUME!

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There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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A brown haired woman walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor it hurts whenever I touch myself." The doctor says, "Strange, I have never heard of such a disease. Please show me." The woman touches her leg and screams,"Ow!" Then she touches her arm and screams again. The doctor asks, "Are you a natural brunette?" The woman replies, "No, I am a blonde." The doctor says, "Oh, that explains it. You have a broken finger. God, you are so blonde." The woman gets her finger treated and then lives in agony for the rest of her life due to her untreated broken leg and arm.

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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