what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

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why was it funny that the boy got hairspray for christmas because he had leukemia

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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Knock Knock whose there? ach ach who? bless you

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

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When your scuba diving why do u jump off backwards beacause if u jump forwards than u witll still be in the boat!!!!!!

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A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

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You

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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