Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

69

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I said I hate niiggers

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do a Mexican, and American, a black guy, and an Asian all have in common? Believe it or not, they all like cantalope.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops