muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left... So they take the left and enjoy themselves at the place many considered the most wonderful place in the world.

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A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Justin Bieber is a good singer.

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Fox News.

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Your moms so poor that when she went to buy a bag of chips, she couldn't buy the bag of chips, because she didn't have enough money to buy the bag of chips

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Q: What do you call a black guy with an air plane? A: A pilot you racist bastard!

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Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish, who had a horrible accident with a fishing hook

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A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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A man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun. Then he returns it and leaves.

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the police there was several calls from people in the sarounding area who heard screaming from ur basement

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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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