What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

And more;

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Womens Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the grass is always greener on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

9

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercorse? I have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What to you call a Muslim person on a plane? A passenger

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black man.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops