The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

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What's the difference between Michael J. Fox and a blender? Michael J. Fox is a successful actor starring in many movies, and a blender is a kitchen appliance.

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knock knock. Who's there? The delivery man.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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Q. Why did the boy get so fat? A. From playing Pokemon Pearl Edition

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I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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whats better than a car. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

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Q:Whats worst then finding a worm in your apple? A:Getting raped in the ass.

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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Q: What did the dumb blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? A: Look! Donut seeds!

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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Two elephants are walking down the street. They have already killed 12 people including 11 children and their foster parent.

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What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw food on the other side the the farmer was going to chop his head off.

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A man buys a prius

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How do you make a dyke moan? Insert a BEAVER in it!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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what hurts more than a stab wound? two stab wounds

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh wait i screwed up, Because of u

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A man goes to the beach to meat babes, but know one seemes to notice him. The man notices another man with a crowed of beautiful women surrounding him. Later that day he stops the man and asks him, how do you get all those girls? the man replies put a potato in your bathing suit. so the next day the man puts a potato in his bathing suit, this time he notices girls walking by and laughing, he goes to the man at the end of the day and asks why it did not work, the man replies, next time try putting the potato in the front

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Q:What did the man say when he walked into a bar. A: Ouch

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"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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