do you want to hear a joke?

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Ask this to your friend. "Yo man, I really need your help on this question. Can you tell me color comes after 9?" guaranteed "wtf"

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife just died from pancreatic cancer."

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I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

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Chuck Norris doesn't swim... He never learned

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What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

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whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

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Snarf Nuggets

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I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

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In the movie Inception, what does the man do after he thinks about calling out to his children so he could see them one last time? The man calls out to his children.

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Grab your Taco, you've pulled a dyslexic Mexican

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My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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this is not an anti joke

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Roses are Red You're Black and Blue My fists seemed to have taken A liking to you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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