Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

Take this and put it- No.

What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

thumbs up!

yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

I was looking out the window on a Sunday morning. The coffee was fresh, and the air was moist. I had recieved a phone call last night on the contents of a briefcase that was to be left on my front door today. The explination was vague, and I was told to enjoy my last day. Then I died.

knock knock get lost!

Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was hit by a bus.

A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a bed? A: The victim of a serious car accident in a hospital bed.

What happened when a saxophone hit Sally? She had a concussion.

How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

What did the Russian scientist say to the British scientist when he saw two black guys enter a strip club? "Two black guys entered the strip club"

If life throws you melons... ouch

What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

Whats faster than a black man running away from the cops? The speed of light.

why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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