Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

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An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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I grew up, if we cannot live for ourselves, we cannot live for others, remember how people admired us when in their presence, while mocking us behind our backs, most humans do nor respect those that do not rule with lies, false promises, all backed up by an army no amount of civilians can defeat. We lost because people got what they wanted, preferring false promises from all ranging from their Gods, to their politicians speaking about their Gods, promises of betterment as a result of war in the name of Gods, but we are not that people. The problem is, that I used to believe that all of humanity possessed the potential people you and I have, and realize now that when I began looking down at people, I began looking down at myself, considering us all equal to them. Red, we might be few, but we are worth far more than those we consider our equals, maybe it is time even we, sought to rule those that desire to be ruled, rather than to help them find their desired path, because their desired path, might always have been to be ruled.

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

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hey

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

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A baby walks into a bar, the whole bar applaudes for the baby boy who just took his first steps.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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