Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the polar bear bury his face into snow? because he saw the 241543903 post and wanted to join in so he used a portal gun to teleport his head into some guy's freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: She had no arms... Q: Knock Knock! Q: Who's there? A: NOT SARA! --- Q: Okay... What song does Sara sing to her arms? A: Somebody That I Used To Know... --- Now. If you're happy and you know it clap your... nevermind O_O

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. I forgot the rest of the story but the punchline goes something something something something your mom is wwhore.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wanna hear a great joke? (any answer) Your dad's choice of condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A young boy walks into a bar and asks for directions or a map. The bartender takes him into a backroom and gives him a map he just happened to have. The boy continues on his way and the bartender is happy that he did a good deed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

thumb_up thumb_down +11

- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Mary had a big white van, a big white van, a big white van, Mary had a big white van, where did my friend go? (sing the song)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Look how far I can kick this bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what's difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops