A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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Q: A boy went to 7-11 and bought Coke instead of 7up. Why? A: I don't know

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free shit is cool

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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