Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

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9

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercorse? I have aids

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the grass is always greener on the other side.

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I used to make jokes about taking arrows to the knee then i beat the game

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your mum

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black man.

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Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

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A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: Shoot it.

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What to you call a Muslim person on a plane? A passenger

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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roses are red violets are blue you think shes hot? how BLIND are you?

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out of your comfort zone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 24

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An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

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What is dark, funny looking, black, and rhymes with osama? A black lama.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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