how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Worst joke ever

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I had an Anti-joke but i forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

- kellen says to bill "your a fruit cake" - bill say to raj "your a gypsy" - raj says to kellen "you have gingevitis" R.I.P kellen 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do you touch yourself at night? Because I do too

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. A farmers walks by underneath, and the squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because squirrels can't talk and neither can owls. Then the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I could even argue that having blood on your penis is kinda fun sometimes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the little girl crying? Her father has been abusing her and her mother for a year now.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops