What is the unltimate Jewish dilemma? Free pork

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When Life gives you lemons, Make Orange Juice!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than kicking your dog? Eating it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I thought I was a bird and I could fly Gravity painfully reminded me I was only a human

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Do you work at subway? Because I often enjoy eating there and i think the food is pretty good. I do not however eat there everyday because i might get overweight and get a eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Are you from Tennessee? Cause my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake? Bob.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the guy fly? Because he steped on a landmine

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops