What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

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What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

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whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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OY SHIT ITS YOUR MOM!!!

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

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Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns. He won.

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Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

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Q.If you are European in the bathroom, what are you in the kitchen? A. A woman.

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What's red ad looks like a green bucket? A red bucket to a color blind person

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A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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It's only racist if you consider them people.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

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A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops