Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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A kid goes to Band Camp and comes back better at the Trumpet.

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A convict escapes a prison he's been in for 15 years. He's soon tracked down by police and put back in jail where he'll serve another 2 years of jail time along with his 5 remaining years.

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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Chuck Norris walks into a bank. There is a long line to get to the teller. Chuck Norris waits patiently in line.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

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How come Michael Jackson couldn't get into the petting zoo? It was closed.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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i like pie.

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Stevie Wonder: Did you see the new piano I got from pepsi? Me: no.... Stevie Wonder: Neither did I...........

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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What did the virgin get for her birthday? Aids

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road Because the light said don't walk

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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