How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If a fish eats fish bait, and a dog eats dog bait, what does a master eat? Anything he feels like eating at the given moment provided it is in accordance to his diet and beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had come upon them and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the Dinosaur say to the Seal? Dinosaur's cant.. wait...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the house do when it came alive? It went home

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't Jenny speak right? Cause she had autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's long and hard? The Ap European exam that i just took.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Bean.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

just sit down and dont be a Jew

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So yesterday I went to find a pair of camo pants, And I did

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the door say to the hand? Please stop caressing me!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock, Knock Whos there? Docter Docter who? Yes its me, Craig Who your docter, I have the test results back Im afriad its positive,you've only got a few months left

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops