How did the magician make his assistant disappear? He killed her and then cremated her body

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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What do u get when u mix a dinosaur and a lesbian? A-lick-alot-a-puss

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Whats the worst thing about seeing a truck being snapped in half? It was mine

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Women's rights.

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Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

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How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

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Did you know there is a whole country occupied with twins? It's called China

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What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

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Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

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a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

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What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

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As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

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Why did the man Iorn his face? Because he felt like it.

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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?u?? ????? ????? '?? p??? o? u?op ?p?sdn s??? p?dd??? no? ??

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Where did Susie go after the bombing? Everywhere

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I like the way he thinks. Too bad he has alzheimers.

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't make sense. Refrigerator.

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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