If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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25

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What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

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Q: What do you call a black hitchhiker? A: A hitchhiker

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Pinus Testicles

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How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

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A man with a ski mask leaves a jewelry store He then goes back because he accidentally took the clerk's pen

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and therefore could not see well without the help of glasses.

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A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

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...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Dementia Pickles

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What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

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Yo momma so fat, people snicker as they walk past her, quietly laughing at a women obviously struggling with obesity. They then proceed to stop laughing, as they realize that their mother died from diabetes. They then proceed to move on with their day.

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A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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